Ten days old!

I think Ste and I love pretty much everything she does all the time. We are constantly taking pictures of her and her adorable little faces. The last two weeks have pretty much been a blur, to be honest. I forget what day it is often and don't even realize what time it is even though I'm looking at the clock constantly to see how long until she eats next or how long she has been eating. 

I definitely understand now what people mean when they say all the restless nights and exhaustion are worth it. I know I have only been a mom for not even two weeks, but still, I have certainly had those nights where all I want to do is sleep but Madison needs me again for something. And even though I am tired, I look at her and I am just so happy that she is ours forever. 

My mom and I tried to take some newborn pictures, but they didn't really turn out too well haha

Madison Anne

Here is the last belly picture I took before Madison decided to join us. I was 38 weeks 3 days, six days before delivery. 

So, I wanted to have her delivery story written down and knew it would take forever to hand write it and would probably forget details. 

On Saturday night Ste and I decided to do a workout together. Before we started he told me, "I don't want you to do anything too strenuous so you don't induce labor."  About four hours later at 2am, I started getting noticeable contractions that I just couldn't sleep through anymore. I decided it was time to wake up and count those suckers. Well, they were about 8 minutes apart, so no one was in danger quite yet. 

There was no way I was going back to sleep so I stayed up for a couple hours counting contractions and watching Masterchef. Throughout the rest of night and day I took baths and showers, tried to sleep, watched more Masterchef to try and distract myself, and counted every contraction.  I called Labor and Delivery when the contractions were five minutes apart for an hour, like the doctor told me the week before. However, the nurses said to not come in until they were at 2.5-3 minutes apart. I did not think I would last. I relied on Ste to help time the contractions and was there whenever I needed something to squeeze or apply counter pressure or to encourage me when some contractions would be 8-12 minutes apart and I didn't think I could take it much longer. I also fell asleep between contractions sometimes since I only had maybe and hour and a half of sleep. 

My contractions moved closer together to four minutes apart, so making progress!! Then they moved to 3.5 minutes apart... Then, I had a super long contraction that I seriously didn't think would end. 

I told Stewart we were going to the hospital and didn't care if they weren't there minutes apart yet. He packed a couple bags for us (even though I packed hospital bags I forgot what I packed and what we needed, so we had a ton of bags at the hospital haha) and walked me out. 

When we got there, we walked to the nurses station and they asked what they could do and I just couldn't think of words to say and one of the nurses just said, "we will get you a room."  About fifteen minutes after I got changed and settled in a bed, one of thre nurses checked to see how dilated I was. I saw her name some weird faces then as she pulled her hand out, it was accompanied by a gush of water. My water broke either right before or as she was checking and didn't feel the sac that she thought she should, which is why she was making weird faces. She let the charge nurse know that I was there to have a baby and was not going home! I was dilated to a 6ish 7 so had made at least some progress!

I wanted to see how much I could do without an epidural. I was kind of nervous how I would feel during and after it since I don't do well with heavy medication. I also didn't want to be strapped to the bed if I needed or wanted to walk around later. I asked the nurse all the questions I could about an epidural because seriously, 24 hours of contractions and only dilated to a seven made me worried about how I would last the delivery or if I would even have the energy. 

I decided I would I fact take the epidural. I didn't feel defeated or a failure that I couldn't do it without one, I felt that in order to get this baby here safely, I needed to be able to relax and focus on what I needed to do rather than the pain. 

The nurses told me that my job was to rest because with the lack of sleep and good in the last day and a half, I needed to get some energy. When the epidural finally kicked in, Stewart said I went back to my normal self. He said I turned into a different person before and was now asking questions about the nurses and their lives. I felt myself being more happy and enjoying the experience a lot more. 

When I got the epidural I was at a four sure 7 around 1am. 

I got set up with pitocin following that to try and help things progress a little bit. 

At around 4:15am the nurse came to check me. I was still at an eight! We then decided to move me on my left side with a peanut ball between my legs to try and open my pelvis a little more. About ten minutes later, nurses came into the room in a hurry. The baby's heart rate had dropped to 40. After three minutes of moving me around to different positions, her heart rate finally started to get back to normal. The nurse decided to check to see how dilated I was before putting a monitor straight on the baby's head to get the most accurate reading of the heart beat. I was now at an nine and the baby was much lower. So, now progress from 1-4:15am then bam! One whole centimeter in less than twenty minutes. 

I had such a hard time sleeping after this whole thing. I counted her heart rate probably every three minutes to make sure it was still where it needed to be. Every time they would give me more than a certain amount of pitocin, the baby would react negativity. 

When the doctor came in around 7am (I think) I was a little more than a nine but still had part of the cervix that needed to come off since he could tell baby was going to be pretty big. After a couple more hours the doctor with no progress, the doctor came in an talked to us about a c section. He was afraid the baby's head would be too big to fit through my pelvis, especially if the cervix didn't continue to open. A c section was something we really wanted to avoid because we want to have a big family. When Ste and I talked after Madison was born, we both realized the peacefulness and understanding that overcame us when the doctor told us about the c section. We knew things would work out the way they were supposed to and we wanted things to work out to keep the baby and me safe. About five minutes after the baby left and they upped my pitocin and baby didn't like it again, nurses came in again and told me I was going to start pushing. What?? The part of the cervix that needed to shred off, did in about five minutes. What a blessing. 

After 36 hours of labor I was finally moving into the pushing stage. So, I started pushing. 

I had awesome support from Ste, the nurse and the nursing student. They could see the top of her head for a good hour and a half. The doctor decided that he would need to use forcepts to help get her here. After three hours of pushing, Madison joined our family. We only got see her for a second until she was handed to the respiratory and nicu team to make that the meconium that was in her amniotic fluid didn't get into her lungs. She was a good little girl and didn't cry so it made their job a little easier. When they were done and weighed and measured her, I was able to hold her for the first time. 

Her little body weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces and she is 21 inches long with cute dark hair. 

I think it's safe to say I was in shock. But so incredibly amazed at what just happened. 

I am so happy I got the epidural. I really wanted to try an unmedicated birth but looking back at the whole thing, I don't think I would have found the energy to push for three hours. 

She sure is a cute little cuddle bug and sleeping buddy. When she was four days old we went to the pediatrician and she was already back up to her birth weight (which I guess isn't expected until they are like two weeks old).  She is in the 86th percentile for height, 77th percentil for weight, and 95th percentil for head circumference. We are pretty proud of this little adorable girl.